It's Intermission Time!

Grab some popcorn...

In my last post I said that I was going to share next about my practice of self-inquiry, and why/how it is so important to my social justice activism. I did fully intend to do just that, and then life did its thing.

One thing I will say about self-inquiry: it was after doing some serious self-reflection this week that I realized I couldn’t stay with my original plan. And I do literally mean “couldn’t.” I tried. I tried really, really, hard, and I could not write about what I intended to write about.

After some reflection, I realized that I am overwhelmed. I am exhausted. I am in fight-or-flight this week, because I was terrified (and am still anxious) by what I believed would be the results of the elections. It is a privilege that I do not have to be unconcerned with the results of any election, and this one’s a doozy. That, coinciding with some other stuff in my life kicked my ass this week.

One of my growing edges is finding a balance between a) relying on my privilege too much and backing off when I have that choice because things are too uncomfortable for me, and b) recognizing when I am pushing myself too hard, expecting the super-human from myself in ways I wouldn’t expect of anyone else, and unrelentingly requiring of myself that I keep my feet in the fire and do everything I humanly can, because very few others are willing to do any of this work at all, and someone has to do it. Phew! I need a rest. I need a break from my tendency to have a staring contest with the brutal reality of here and now (I really should try to break that habit; reality always wins, in the end).

I came to realize that “everything I humanly can” is neither static nor sustainable. It is true that I am probably relying on some level of privilege when I take a break. And it is also true that I am not being of service to anyone else if I am so depleted and traumatized by my own relentless dedication to my cause that I am not able to do anything more than go through the motions. That just ends up being performative, which does more harm than good. Am I simply justifying my own choices here? Possibly. I won’t know until later, because hindsight, and all that.

So I’m taking an intermission, fully acknowledging that there are things going on in my life, and also the bigger world, that desperately need attention right now. One thing that needs my attention is my own well being, so I apologize for the change of plans.

What I’m Going to Share Instead

First, a public service announcement. I am going to share someone else’s words instead of writing my own. Then some other stuff. I hope you find it all beneficial.

A Wise Bunch of Words from Neurodivergent Rebel

Lyric Holmans, aka Neurodivergent Rebel, just published a new video that resonated wildly with me, and what they have to say is critically important for both neurodivergent and neurotypical people to understand (if you find this video helpful, please support Lyric on Patreon):

Random Weirdness Because That’s How My Mind Works

I had this weird dream about sea turtles a few weeks ago. In the dream, the turtles had been kidnapped from the ocean and taken to a zoo, and someone wanted me to rescue them and take them back to the ocean. I was stressed out because I didn’t know how I was going to make it happen, and I was feeling guilty because I hadn’t done it yet. Then I heard on the radio that they had escaped themselves, and parachuted out of an airplane.

When I woke up, it was one of those dreams where even though you know it’s a dream, you can’t let go of the emotions attached to it, and I was wishing I knew if the turtles made it safely back to the ocean. It was my dream, so I decided they did, and I drew this picture of what a parachuting sea turtle, almost home but not quite, might look like.

Some Sweet, Comforting Stuff

Sarpur Duman, who loves cats and music more than just about anything else, is my exception to the “enough with the cutesy animal videos already!” rule. I will hit repeat on every video in his channel about 10 times.

Sometimes this brief reprieve from all the crap in the world is enough to make the difference for me, and keeps from spinning on down to hell for who knows how long.

Thank you, Sarpur Duman!